Ever Since childhood I was a bright student. I was one of those no trouble kids. My parents didn’t have any major complaints with me. The only worries my parents had for me was my poor eyesight and lack of social skills. Connecting with people and making friends was never my forte. Growing up, I never had any real friends. I barely spoke to anyone, indoor or outdoor didn’t matter. One time in 2nd grade, my parents received a call from my English teacher. First they thought I must have done something wrong at school. Later, they found out it was because I spoke for the first time in a class discussion. In 4th grade, I had a crush on this boy in my math class. To this day I could never tell him how I felt.
Speaking of school, home wasn’t any different. I was the only child of a lawyer and engineer.Beside their individual beloved professions, mom and dad had a common hobby,disagreements. I don’t know any other two people who fought as much as my parents.Every afternoon I would think, this is it. One of them will definitely jump out the window. But, thankfully that day never came.
My only escape from everything was books and painting. I was painting that day too, when they found me unconscious, lying in the middle of my room. 911 call, I was rushed to the emergency room. I woke up, 12 hours later finding myself in a hospital bed. Initially, I am not told but heavily implied that I’ve caught some major illness. They don’t send me home but shift me to a bigger room. That room had two beds, a TV on the wall and some medical monitors attached to the beds. One of the two beds in that room becomes my address for the next two years.
Chemo began, pain increased and every single hair gone. The terrible hospital smell slowly faded in. 630 days of battles later, I got to return home. Beside all that pain, the lungs ripping screams and the life and death situation, my time in that hospital room was not that bad. I had a great partner through this misery.
Remember the second bed in my room, it belonged to a kid name Luck A.Dwsan. Luck was the wittiest kid I ever met in my life. He was a light that sparkled my darkest days. Despite our age difference, Luck created a strong bond with me. It was all him. I had very little contribution in our friendship. Unlike me, Luck had immense people skill. It showed in the number of friends that came to see him and myself. I woke up many times with laughter noise between him and his friends. He apologized many time for this and I never had to because none of my friends visited me.
Over time, Luck became my first real friend. Of course, he told everyone I was his very “serious” girlfriend. One of Luck’s favorite things to do was flirting with the nurses. He had created his own catch phrase for them. “the A of my middle name stands for “Awesome”, so you can call me Mr.Awesome”. The nurses loved him, everybody loved him. He was a walking, talking, breathing laughter machine. More than laughing, he loved making others laugh. But sometimes, his little body couldn’t bare his laughs.
Luck was also super inquisitive. He asked me all these questions, if I liked boys or girls. what are my likes, if I thought he looked cute without his hair. For the first time in my life, I experienced the joy of sharing. I told Luck everything. My favorite books, showed him my paintings, about that boy in 4th grade, things my parents fought about. So, that is how he opened me, to my very core.
Luck and I spoke about everything, but we never spoke about our pain, the battles we were fighting. That was the only rule of our friendship. One night, I was showing Luck my sketchbook. While at it, I asked him if he would let me sketch him. Luck takes a few seconds, still looking down and going through my sketch book.
Okay, but only my eyes, though, he says. why? I asked curiously. I don’t want anyone to remember me as a bald kid.
I don’t question further and begin to sketch his eyes. Luck sat there before me as I sketched. But, something was missing that night. Luck didn’t have his usual sparks in those hazel eyes.They were just sad, that day.
Later, in the middle of that same night I wake up. There was a unusual number of nurses and doctors harrowing Luck’s bed. Before I could ask, they rush Luck’s whole bed out of the room. I catch a small glimpse of luck’s unconscious body. That was the last glimpse of Mr.Awesome I ever saw. Because the next day, nobody returned and the following day I got his funeral address.
My parents went to his funeral. I didn’t. I wasn’t convinced he’s dead. How can I say goodbye? Actually I’ll never say goodbye. I can’t. He was my friend. He was my only friend. I can’t let go.
A week goes by.Looking for peace of mind, I finally reach out to books. I can’t set my mind in one place. I begin to go through books. Suddenly a paper falls out of a book. No, it wasn’t a page from the books. It was a letter from Luck.
My very serious girlfriend, whenever you get this. I want you to know that you are going to win this battle. I hope to win this battle too, so I can celebrate with you. But in case, just in case I don’t and these are my final days. I want you to know, I have no regrets. because I had the perfect friend by my side, you. You have a whole universe inside you, you just don’t know it. And I want you to get to embrace it. That’s why,when I meet God, I’ll throw in a special recommendation for you. So,that you get another chance. but for now, I just wish you all my LUCK.
He’s words hit me like a lightning. As if time stopped and my soul left my body but couldn’t escape the room. I didn’t want to live anymore. I started to scream and cry uncontrollably. My nurses rush me out of the room .